Friday, October 7, 2011

"are you ready for school Clair"
"yea I cant wait, I've always wanted to go to school"
"I just cant believe they finished it just a month ago"
Just about 500 yd away from the school when the bank to right of us exploded. Taliban members came storming out of the bank, they where pointing the gun at our car and firing at us. My mom accelerated and a bullet hit her. She was dead
"out of the car! get out!"
They hid me and put a vest on me, I didn’t know what to do. I just followed orders. At wasn't long before an American helicopter came. As it came in I noticed that one of the Taliban was holding a button.
"run towards them."
"What."
He smacked me with the but of his rifle, "run towards them."
I ran fast as I could, when I looked back I saw him push the button, nothing happened. The Americans started firing ant the Taliban, the Taliban fired back. A bullet hit me in the leg, as I fell down the bomb exploded.

1 comment:

  1. Starting an introduction to a short story with dialogue can be a very effective tactic. When you need to write a hook, however, try to only start with only one person talking so you have a chance to give the reader a better idea of the setting. Your first line of narrative, in fact, stands quite strongly all by itself. You are on your way to school when the bank you are passing explodes. That sentence draws the reader in faster than what the characters are saying beforehand.

    ReplyDelete